Right, so you’ve heard the latest bit of glorious nonsense, haven’t you? Donald Trump, reckons the White House is the perfect spot for a full-blown MMA extravaganza. A fight night, on the lawns of democracy. Is he genuinely serious, or has someone slipped a dodgy pint into his Oval Office brew?

Now, hosting fights isn’t new. We’ve seen them in casinos, car parks, and the occasional rather questionable barn. But the White House? That’s like staging a demolition derby in the British Museum. It’s an idea so fantastically bonkers, it almost makes you want to see it happen, just for the sheer, unadulterated chaos.

The PFL’s Eager Beaver Syndrome

And of course, PFL, ever the eager beaver, is already elbowing their way to the front of the queue. They’re offering up their very best, a veritable smorgasbord of pugilistic talent. One almost pictures Donn Davis, PFL’s top bloke, sliding a rather oily business card under the Oval Office door, whispering sweet nothings about Francis Ngannou and Cris Cyborg. Honestly, they’re like a kid with a new toy trying to impress the big boys at the playground.

Their proposed line-up is, admittedly, rather tasty. Ngannou versus Nemkov? That’s a heavyweight clash that would rattle the foundations of any stately home. Usman Nurmagomedov, the cousin of the great Khabib Nurmagomedov, against Paul Hughes. Dakota Ditcheva – a name you’ll want to remember – squaring off with Liz Carmouche. It’s a decent bill, designed to get the blood pumping before the main course, whatever the UFC decides to serve up.

Trump, in typical fashion, wants to go big. Twenty-five thousand spectators, apparently. On the White House grounds. For the country’s 250th anniversary. Forget the historical significance for a moment; just imagine the portaloos required. The logistical nightmares alone would make even the most hardened event planner weep into their spreadsheets. The White House, it turns out, wasn’t designed for punch-ups, funnily enough.

Logistical Nightmares and Greasy Canvas

MMA organisations have always been quite sniffy about outdoor fights. Can’t blame them, really. A sudden downpour and you’ve got a greasy canvas, potentially causing more slips than a banana peel factory. But Dana White and Trump have history, don’t they? A rather chummy relationship, one might say. So, an exception isn’t entirely off the cards, even if it means risking a bit of mud on the national carpet.

Picture it, though. PFL’s Francis Ngannou launching a right hand with the Washington Monument in the background. Or Cris Cyborg delivering a knee to the gut of her opponent, while the Lincoln Memorial looks on disapprovingly. It’s like something out of a particularly outlandish Hollywood blockbuster, only with slightly fewer explosions and significantly more sweat. And probably some chaps in very ill-fitting suits arguing about concession stands.

A Grand Spectacle or Just Hot Air?

Whether this truly comes to fruition is anyone’s guess. My money’s on ‘probably not’, simply because the bureaucracy involved would likely crush the spirit of even the most enthusiastic promoter. But the sheer audacity of the idea, the unbridled ambition to plonk an octagon on the hallowed grounds of US power, is precisely why MMA continues to fascinate. It’s never boring, that’s for sure.

So, do you reckon this White House fight night is a stroke of genius, or simply a ridiculous pipe dream that’ll never see the light of day? Let us know what you think in the comments below.